It is important to be out-spoken

It is important to be out-spoken. Be firm and use your tongue constructively.

To keep your tongue in check can be a way of hiding the kind of person you are. It cheats you. You have the right to be your own person and to let yourself be known. You don't want people to love and respect the kind of person they think you are. That only gives you short-term happiness - but as it is not about you, the real you, it will only lead to trouble. You want to make yourself known as you really are. Only then will the love and respect be of any benefit to you in the long-term and forever.

I never know how somebody is going to react to something I say. I would have said things in the past expecting the person I was engaging with to be very offended when they in fact thanked me for my candour. I will put myself first and say what is on my mind for what else can I do?

It is possible to describe somebody as harmful without judging that person. You could then be stating a fact about them rather than judging them. You can intend it as stating a fact and not as a criticism.

Confrontation is only a challenge...


Don't avoid confrontation at all costs. You may need the practice. You can handle it in an assertive way that makes you rise from it not with less dignity than before but with more! Learn to say no and more importantly learn to mean no!


You need to establish clear personal boundaries. If you don't have them, then you are lacking in self-respect. You are therefore inviting others to disrespect you. Don't stand for anybody crossing those boundaries. Speak out. This takes away your fear of other people. It helps you make them happier!


If you fail to handle it, remember that you have not failed at all. You were a success at trying and making the effort.

Don't try to be liked - like yourself and you will be liked...

Like yourself enough to risk being disliked. If you practice these principles, you will maximise the number of people who will like you. But don't work to be liked. If you don't like yourself nobody, or not many, will like you. Do not be afraid to stand up and speak up for what is right. Why should you be silent in the face of wrong? Why would you let wrong have a voice instead of right?

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