Talking in public - self-esteem in action
 
Imagine the nervous public speaker. The reason he is so feels panicky is because he is thinking of himself. If he thought more about the audience he would be fine for it would distract him from the panic and help him overcome it. If he really loved himself properly he would honour himself by thinking of others. He would be helping himself that way.
 
If you are scared in a situation, the other people involved could be as scared as you if not more. Reach out to them and that will help take away your own fear. Remember that you do not have perfect control over the situation but you can control how you react to it and your attitude towards it.
 
You are about to give a speech in public. You might feel you cannot do it. In other words you are saying you are not good enough. You will feel that you are unselfish because you don't want to mess things up so that it is best if you don't try. Admit in the speech that you are nervous. Say you will do your best. It will feel different once you get started. Realise that if you show more interest in the audience than yourself that it will work and you will succeed. The result is that you honour yourself properly and think properly about yourself and you benefit others in doing so. You also become a source of wisdom for handling such situations. You can impart this wisdom to others.
 
The advice, "Get on with it! It is not about you but them!" is not helpful. It will only add to your worry. Before you worried about how you were going to come across. Now you are asked to worry about how you can't forget yourself and focus on the audience.