Mourning is better than forgiveness where a terrible wrong has been done to you

Mourning is resolving to take as much time as you need in order to face something terrible that has happened to you and to be able to move on and live through the pain. To mourn is to give up the hold the pain has over you and to bit by bit help yourself to feel better. Face and admit your wish to get revenge if somebody hurts you. Mourning is a process that stops the evil thing they did having any more power over you to hurt you. Forgiveness is inferior to mourning because:

It is regarded as urgent for it is said as you have accepted forgiveness from God just like that so you should forgive your enemy as fast.

It is not necessary - just resolve to mourn and let yourself mourn.

Mourning is totally about being realistic while trying to forgive is more about trying to make out that the deed done is not that bad anymore.  Forgiveness will always backfire for the reality of the situation will hit you again.

Mourning does not pressure and demands patience while with forgiveness you are told you are not the biggest person unless you forgive.  Mourning respects your freedom and forgiveness applies a subtle passive aggressive pressure on you.  And that pressure is made worse by belief in a forgiving God who requires you to forgive just like he does.

Mourn evil. Those who demand that you forgive it are bullies.  They are condoning what has been done to you for forgiving is not a duty. You need to mourn not forgive in certain cases at least.

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