Religion when it says God gave us free will to love or otherwise is saying we must trust God. Free will can be seen as God giving us the option to trust him or not trust him.
Trust is a necessary evil. It puts you at risk. We need to trust each other. But to say there is a God is to urge us to trust something that may not exist. It is different. Trust is a necessary evil but not in that case! To urge people to trust ghosts and gods and spirits whose existence is uncertain is evil for trust is to be avoided if possible.
We trust because sometimes we need to take risks and trust helps us take them. It is not about accepting people but about having to get on with life.
We trust some people in life but not all - the alternative, trusting nobody, is not good psychologically or practically. We cannot live if we trust nobody. It means we miss out on what is good in life and people.
So trust is not really a fabulous thing. It's a necessity. Sometimes trust is painful in itself.
We do not need to trust in God to be able to take risks and to feel better about life. If there is nothing in your nation but monsters you can trust that there are people who are worth knowing if you will never meet them.
Some say you need to trust people you do not know well to see if they are worthy of that trust. It is not that you need to test them, you need to trust them for life cannot go on if you trust nobody. It is a practical matter.
It does not follow that you should trust God for a similar reason. And real trust involves a proper relationship. When it is trust in God, you don't know if you really trust him or if you are trying to manufacture the feeling that you do trust - that is what you are doing if you let nothing count against the trustworthiness of God. When you pray to be able to handle a difficult customer you blame yourself for failing to handle him. You don't blame God. That is not a healthy relationship with what you perceive as God.
Trust in God really means trust that God in some way that nobody can understand, is able to improve your character and take some of the responsibility for its formation. Christians call this mystery grace. If it is really your inner strength that makes you a better person you need to know and see this. Mistaking it for grace is not good. And God cannot get the credit for what God has not done! It is not fair.
Some victims of control-freaks get a lot of help and affection from them. The purpose of the help is to make them feel helpless and more controllable. It is to blind them even further to what is going on. It helps the abuser feel good about his abuse. Because he feels good, he likes continuing to abuse and becomes better at it. It is bad enough to let another do this to you but to do it to yourself is unspeakable...
Religion says that God has given all free will. Does it give it so that we might be free no matter what? Or does he give it so that we might be free only within the constraints of his plan which is that if we misuse our free will he will bring good out of it? If you see this good as character building, then what matters most free will or its good results?

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