Self-confidence has to be worked for. It is so precious and we want all to have the opportunity to say YES to it. The person who truly values herself or himself will be valued by others too. Proper self-confidence inspires good works. It enables a person to engage in outstanding works of self-sacrifice. You can only sacrifice what you value.

Self-confidence is the only thing that matters. It is the root of every good. We boldly assert that self-confidence is of supreme importance and that it is just as important that we cultivate it in ourselves.

Some therapists may disagree and say:

Do not work too hard on your self-confidence for that is too self-absorbed and you risk seeing how powerful the lack is and can end up no better than before or even worse. Sometimes when we feel low and unhappy, we need to stop thinking about what is wrong in our lives. We need to get our mind off ourselves and find productive things to do and productive relationships to build. We need to focus on helping other people. If we do that, our worries can disappear just through neglect.

That is mostly true. But it is vital that we have the self-confidence to do what they advise. It takes confidence to direct your concern to interests other than your problems. You have to trust yourself that you will be safe to do so.

If your self-confidence is very low, you will find that it is hard to get your problems out of your mind no matter what you do and you will feel that nobody would want to be your friend. The therapists need to remind you of that. Otherwise, their advice can sound unsympathetic and judgemental.

At times we need to stop thinking about developing self-confidence and self-esteem in order to develop them. Yet even then it is self-confidence and self-esteem that gets us there. Even then we have to have the confidence in ourselves to be willing to stop thinking so much about it. We are not saying you should forget about yourself. Our suggestion is that you could let yourself be confident instead of trying to go about it the wrong way. You must always want self-confidence and intend it. Then you put the intention out of your attention, you put it in the back of your mind. But it is still there. Then it will develop and grow.

It takes greater self-confidence to think of others and not yourself than it does to think of yourself all the time. The same is true if you think of work or something non-personal rather than of yourself. Nobody wants to be hurt. If you forget yourself it follows that you are opening yourself to hurt. You are not watching out for yourself all the time. This shows immense trust in yourself. Plus you win the trust and admiration of others and this reminds you and shows you how great and correct your sense of self-confidence is.

If I give my life to save two children drowning in a pond, I do it because I am confident that it is the right thing to do. In other words, I do it because I am confident in me and my judgement. I value myself because I give myself for them.

True self-confidence means you are not afraid of truth but that you welcome correction.

True self-confidence means you never let what other people think control what you do. You might feel awkward about being like this but you have to. And the feeling will pass.

Self-confidence is more important than self-esteem. Without self-confidence you cannot have self-esteem.

God believers with self-confidence may have the false confidence that comes from self-deceit. Have real confidence and hold on to it.

Trying to help somebody is still helping even when it does not benefit them. There is no such thing as failing to help for trying is helping. Helping is not about how something turns out but about trying.

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